"Wont Let Go" - Luke Fluff
(Really fluffy Luke to finish of my 4/4 little fluffs i’ve been writing, i hope you enjoy. Im sorry it is kinda sad xx)
My feet clambered up the familiar steps of his house, my heart beating fast as i knocked on the door. I wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, i felt almost like i was in the wrong being here. Like i was breaking some imaginary law that said i shouldn’t be here.
"Y/N? How are you sweetheart." The voice of his mum snapped me out of daydreaming. Her arms opened warmly as she hugged me close before pulling away.
"Uh no, he’s still out at the restaurant, i, i got him something but i forgot to give it to him so…"
"Oh go right up honey..you know where his room is. Take your time." Letting me in i hesitantly made for his bedroom, all the while fumbling with the small packet in my hands. It seemed stupid now, he probably wouldn’t want it, he may not even look at it. I doubted that it would mean anything to him, just like i didn’t mean anything to him. But still i came here, to his house. For what i though of as one last time before we went our separate ways.
I let his bedroom door creek open, flashbacks of the times i’d spent there. From the ages of thirteen when his voice was still sweet, i could still hear the giggles of us as kids. To the night when my first boyfriend broke up with me, i spent the whole weekend at at Luke’s eating junk food. I still remembered the times when we snuck back to his house after parties, tiptoeing up the stairs as we held in tipsy laughs. It was then i found myself now standing like a fool with a smile on her face, in the door way of my former best friend slash love of my life.
Walking into the room i was fascinated by how it had changed, six months on from the last time i was here and he had matured so much. His bedsheets were the same, matching his curtains, his sent still lingered in the air but it looked odd. It was tidy for once, his bookshelf clear and the usual cloths over the floor were gone. There were some fairy lights around his bed lighting the room. The moon was shining through his window along with a light breeze which hit my arms allowing goosebumps to form. More memories of him filled my mind as i walked softly around the room, deciding time was moving too fast i knew i had to leave. It just felt so hard to walk away, i wanted nothing more than to jump under his covers and fall asleep with the comforting smell of him and wake up to him grinning at me goofily like he always did. But that was no more.
I was still holding onto the small gift i had bought online for him after searching throughout a night a few months before. I’d waited in that full weekend for it to arrive, feeling happy to have gotten him something i knew would allow that bright smile of his to come out. Now if felt stupid, and i wondered whether leaving it for him was such a good idea after all. But placing the small packet down on his bed lightly, i stood back before my mind could change.
"Hey." I turned on my feet sharply meeting the very boy the gift now belonged to.
"Its so good to see you guys.." I chirped up taking the time to hug them all equally as close. I was of course squished between their embraces all at once. Although i was missing my most important boy.
"Wheres Luke..?" I asked, the sound muffed by them tied around me.
"Love you too Y/N." Michael huffed jokingly as he stuck out his tongue, pulling his arm around my shoulder and ruffling up my hair whist Ashton and Calum tickled at my sides. Earning disapproving looks from the waitress who was seating us at out table, we settled allowing the laughter to settle as we used the menus to hide our faces.
"No seriously wheres….Luke?!" My heart plummeted to the bottom of my chest as i caught a glimpse of him walking into the restaurant, but he wasn’t alone. My menu flopped onto the table allowing the cutlery to clank together and the other boys to look at me. Staring at the sight in front of me i tried to let the inevitable sink in; he had a girlfriend.
The light shawn against my eyes, blinding me from my right side as it reflected off the knife twiddling around between the freshly manicured nails of my new rival. She looked up at me through her thick lashes, a small smirk on her lips as i shifted my chair back, just enough to escape loosing my sight. I watched as she turned to him, giving him a cunning smile allowing him to wink back at her. They were just messing around, yeah right. If that was true then why was she here? Why did he bring her along to the restaurant we had unofficially claimed as “our” little place a long time ago? If that was all it was then why did i have this churning in my stomach and fear in my veins that she had stollen him from me? Why did i feel lost and unwanted around my own friends? Had he forgotten what happened before he left? Was this his way of telling me he felt nothing for me whist i waited for him all these months? Why was he breaking my heart?
"So Y/N? Do you have a boyfriend then…" Calum smirked at me, unaware of how his question hit me like a rock and i now wanted to be sick.
"No.." I shook my head quietly answering him.
"…there was a guy, but its clear he has other feelings." Just then Luke coughed up on his drink, turning his head to face me he looked shocked and almost hurt. Nobody seemed to take notice accept from his new ‘thing’ whom attempted to see if he was okay.
"Awww babe…" I felt a hand on my shoulder turning to see Ashton giving me a sympathetic look.
"Jokes on him eh, idiot if you ask me." Michael and Calum nodded along with him agreeing as i tried not to cry feeling emotional that they cared. If only they new who the "idiot" really was.
"Pizza?" We were all finally served, the hungry boys digging in as it was put down in front of them but i couldn’t face the food on my plate. I felt sick watching him with her, how they shared pizza just like we used to, how she was laughing at his lame jokes, i felt myself get frustrated and jealous feeling like i was the only one allowed to find him funny. Furrowing my eyebrows the tears were building up and i knew i had to get out of there.
"Y/N…? Are you okay, you haven’t touched your food." Michael asked with a mouthful of pizza. I would have laughed had i not wanted to throw up. I could feel Luke stare at me, i caught a small look at him. He was crewing on his lip nervously, something i knew he always did when worry was stirring inside him.
"Yeah babe your really quiet." Calum joined as Ashton wiped his mouth, pulling his seat out to give me his attention.
"I don’t feel too good, I’m gonna head home. I’m, I’m sorry guys. I’ll come and see you all tomorrow yeah?" I stumbled getting out of my seat, before rushing out of the place before any of them could question me.
"Y/N!" I heard him call, my name slipping from his lips and sticking a dagger into my heart.
It wasn’t until i hot the fresh air that the first tear stained my cheek, my vision blurring as i attempted to find my car. Tossing my hands around my bag my car keys were hiding and that was when i pulled out the small package which was meant for the boy who had broken my heart.
I’d spent the 10 minutes sitting in my car, trying to process where i was supposed to go. I wanted to go home but i didn’t want to take it with me, i didn’t want the constant reminder of him stabbing me in the chest as long as i had it. That was how i found myself turning the engine on and heading for his house.
*End of Flashback*
"Luke…" We were face to face in the same room, finally about to have the first conversation in person since that last day six months ago.
"My mum, she called me to say you were here…I thought you were sick?" He questioned me, entering his bedroom and surprisingly shutting the door behind him. Locking us inside together. I didn’t have an answer, i couldn’t even look at him.
"I knew you weren’t sick…i know that deep down I’m the one who has caused those tears that have run your eyeliner." I felt self conscious wiping under my eyes quickly.
"Whats that?" Pointing at the package my heart beat faster as he picked it up of his bed, unwrapping the chain which had a small silver lightning bolt attached to it. I watched as he read the back remembering myself how it said "Our dreams are like a flash of lightning, powerful, unique and breathtaking to others who catch a glimpse." He scanned the necklace in his hand, balling it into his fist.
"Its stupid really.."
"No." He cut me off abruptly, looking at me with nothing but shame in his eyes.
"I’ve hurt you, I’ve broken your heart." He began to move towards me, his body now inches away. I felt nervous, uncomfortable.
"I got too attached.."
"No!" His voice raised more and i shook on the spot.
"This is not your fault, this is my fault." His head fell to the ground an i saw the hard shell he had on begin to crack. I wasn’t sure what to do, i was scared to move. But when i heard the faint sound of a sob coming from him my nerves eased and i wanted nothing more than to comfort him.
"Im so sorry.." He choked looking up at me. His eyes were glossy and turning red under the dim light.
"No, its not…you are the most important person in this world to me and look what I’ve done. I dont deserve you but i need, i need to know.. Do you still love me? I need to hear you say it. Do you?" He took my hands in his closing the gap between us as a flutter swarmed around my stomach at his touch. I felt the metal of the chain scrape against my knuckles as he held my hands tightly in his.
"Yes, of course i still love you. I’ve always loved you and…i always will." Now my eyes matched his, the salty droplets running down my cheeks.
"I love you too, I’m so in love with you, but i was scared and stupid..and she means nothing..and i should have known better, i cant stand seeing what I’ve done." We knocked foreheads together, gasping small breaths.
"Can you forgive me? please!" The last word was strained, although he was begging for his life. Of course i could, i couldn’t imagine hating him, never speaking to him again. I already had forgiven him, and thats why i had to come back here. I couldn’t let go, no matter how much it hurt.
Our lips crashed, just like that night six months before. A warm fire spreading through my body as we touched with so much love. My best friend had never been just by best friend, he was always going to mean so much more to me. And as my hands trailed around his neck, his came around my waist allowing our bodies to press together. Sloppy pecks were given as we relaxed in each others embrace, my head against his chest as his rested in the crook of my neck.
"I’ll never take this off." He stated strongly both of us understanding what he truly meant as he let the necklace hang around his neck.
"I’ll make this right, i promise you. I messed up once and i’ll never do it again, i’ll never be so stupid again…"
"Shh..just kiss me." And he did, his lips healing my wounds with the love he was showing.
"…I wont let go of you, never again."